By Sam Leith
Forget all that horse manure about sanctifying your relationship before God and in the presence of your loved ones. The real, practical value of the institution of marriage is that itâs a stress test: if your relationship can survive planning the wedding, youâll probably make it to the finish line.
Of all the many nightmares involved in this dreaded process, drawing up the guest list may be the worst. Do it in public, like Harry ânâ Meghan, and thereâs not just cousin Mavisâs private butthurt to worry about but the rubbing in of the fact that Barack Obama, Donald Trump and Theresa May are NFIâd. There are six categories of guests that can cause real difficulty:
Youâre supposed to invite these ones. Itâs kind of the form. Donât be like the bride I know who caused all sorts of difficulties by asking her husband to uninvite his father on the eve of the wedding. And if you have a big family, you have to be very careful about picking and choosing cousins: branches of families tend to come as a package. If there are relatives you really, really canât stand, the trick is to invite them, then take revenge with the seating arrangement.
This is less likely to apply, obviously, when one of you is a prince and the other a Hollywood star. But that gives you less wriggle room, too. If youâre both only moderately off, and youâre paying for it yourself, less close friends will (mostly) be understanding if they get a tier two, come-for-a-drink-afterwards-but-not-the-three-course-dinner invitation. Thatâs harder to do if that friend is a world leader. Why is South Korea invited to dinner while the DPRK only gets pints and stovies, the North Korean ambassador might wonder? International incidents have started over less.
The number one cause of all premarital rows, and the subject of intense horse-trading. Is it his boorish old drinking buddy who is guaranteed to #MeToo a bridesmaid or crack a vile joke to her father the vicar? Or is it her overemotional schoolmate, who will dominate the karaoke before bursting into tears and making it all about her? Former lovers are a particularly tricky subcategory. âBut sheâs not just my ex, weâre like, really close friends now.â Or: âOK: write down which of these Cressidas you havenât banged, right now, or the wedding is off.â
For more read the full of article at The Guardian